In most parent-teenager situations, it is frequently
shown that family members often disagree with each other. Teens may
wish to be alone, whereas parents would want to help their child
through stressful times. Things like this happen a lot in
relationships between people. Throughout the short story “Building
Bridges” by Andrea D. Pinkney, it is shown that relationships are
complicated, especially between parent/guardian and child. Bebe is a
17-year-old girl who lives with her grandma. She greatly wishes to
become an engineer, and starts with a Brooklyn Bridge renovation
team. Unfortunately, Bebe's grandmother, Mama Lil, refuses to sign
the contract that would officially give Bebe permission to work on
the Brooklyn Bridge. Bebe tries to fight her way through to Mama Lil,
and it's this determination that finally allows Bebe to reach her
dreams. Through the issues Bebe and Mama Lil have, Pinkney shows us
that teenagers often have a difficult time communicating with their
guardians.
Bebe, the main character of “Building Bridges”, dreams of one day becoming an engineer – but her grandmother has a different view on this and their lives get difficult. Bebe often disagrees with her grandmother on various things, from hairstyles to jewelry to body shape and fashion. But Bebe says in the kitchen, “I was Mama Lil's only true family, and she was the only real parent I had. If I left her, she'd have nobody; and if she passed on, I'd be alone in this world.” (pg. 19) This shows that, although they both come at odds often, Bebe and Mama Lil both really need each other. This could make life even more complicated for them – or anyone – if they don't admit how much they need each other for support. This is true for many families as well. Another example of this need for support is when Mama Lil admits to Bebe the reason for her refusal for signing the permission slip. “Your dreams are the kind that'll take you away from here, Bebe – away from your Mama Lil. You got big hopes, child, but they gonna leave me alone, by myself.” (pg. 29) Mama Lil and many parents might find it hard to let their children go follow their own dreams, not their's. I feel that people should be able to let go, and let those close to them follow their dreams, no matter what, even if they worry for their loved one's safety.
Some parents fear what would happen when their children leave them. For example, Bebe explains early on in the story that “Mama Lil thought it just wasn't right that I'd be working on a project staffed only with boys and men.” (pg. 20) Mama Lil was concerned for Bebe's safety, like any parent would be, and she tried to protect Bebe by not letting her go. It could be risky getting a new job if you don't know what to expect. But Bebe knew exactly what she wanted, Mama Lil didn't understand. When attempting to dissuade Bebe from the renovation job, Mama Lil stated that, “whatever you call it, it's a white man's work. You ain't got no place messing with it. We should stick to our own kind, Bebe – colored women trying to cross the white man's line is asking for trouble.” (pg. 21) Mama Lil is right on some aspects, but sometimes kids need to try new things. People can't stay in the shadow of what they know forever.
Also, some people are wary and have a hard time letting go of what they know and learning new things. According to Bebe, when Mama Lil first disagreed with Bebe becoming an engineer in the story, “...Mama Lil was afraid of something she didn't know.” (pg 20) It seems that Mama Lil liked being on top, being prepared, but when faced with something she didn't understand or know, she felt at a disadvantage and powerless. Most parents would advise their children about things based on their own experiences or other people's, like friends's, who may not fully understand the topic. Some parents might not take into consideration what the majority of other people say. One example is when Mama Lil stubbornly goes to ask her friends for advice. “...she'd taken it upon herself to ask her friends down at Rimley's Beauty Parlor about engineering. They'd convinced her that I was headed down the wrong path. 'Ain't no black woman doing no engine-ing,' she'd said.” (pg. 21) Most of the time it's better to go to the officials who are experienced in that topic rather than those who bluff or assume they know. Some people should try to understand their children's point of view before disagreeing with them and suggesting something else.
It's always hard to admit when you are wrong, but it
may be better for you and your relationships with others. Andrea
Pinkney did well in showing how relationships are complicated using
the bond between Bebe and Mama Lil. She describes the relationship
clearly and shows their depth of feeling toward each other. It is
this depth that allows the reader to comprehend the uncertainty and
fear that Mama Lil has for Bebe. I understand how hard it is for Mama
Lil because my parents are going through me growing up as well. As
anyone else might experience, it is hard to be willing to adapt to a
loved one's future. I predict that Mama Lil will have trouble
adjusting to Bebe's new path in life, but she'll do it for Bebe. She
always had.
